








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 141 | 19% |
| Smokes | 120 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 225 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 245 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,169 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 364 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robinesta | 50% | 42 |
| #2 | DaKitten | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | zacke | 39% | 31 |
| #4 | Leo Marcus | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Hawk Tuah Kungen | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Hawk Tuah Kungen | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | Sultan420 | 38% | 40 |
| #7 | Harley Davidson | 29% | 38 |
| #8 | crippled sex offender | 20% | 49 |
| #9 | xX_MRCHICKEN_Xx | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crippled sex offender | 36 | 0.0443 |
| #2 | Harley Davidson | 16 | 0.0252 |
| #3 | zacke | 13 | 0.0276 |
| #4 | Robinesta | 9 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | xX_MRCHICKEN_Xx | 3 | 0.0165 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crippled sex offender | 202 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #2 | zacke | 159 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #3 | Robinesta | 157 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sultan420 | 120 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | xX_MRCHICKEN_Xx | 29 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robinesta | +4.74 | 51 | 63 |
| #2 | zacke | +2.90 | 50 | 52 |
| #3 | xX_MRCHICKEN_Xx | +1.49 | 53 | 61 |
| #4 | Hawk Tuah Kungen | +0.42 | 24 | 28 |
| #5 | Leo Marcus | -0.82 | 55 | 28 |





