








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 501 | 17% |
| Smokes | 777 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 851 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 738 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,027 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaffeineAddictedAlpaca | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | zacke | 47% | 83 |
| #3 | Robinesta | 45% | 121 |
| #4 | DaKitten | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | Sultan420 | 39% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crippled sex offender | 83 | 0.0438 |
| #2 | Robinesta | 29 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | zacke | 20 | 0.0135 |
| #4 | limpan | 14 | 0.0224 |
| #5 | Leo Marcus | 11 | 0.0217 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zacke | 564 | 0.38 | 13 min |
| #2 | crippled sex offender | 534 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #3 | Robinesta | 515 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #4 | Sultan420 | 419 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #5 | Leo Marcus | 69 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robinesta | +4.53 | 54 | 54 |
| #2 | xX_MRCHICKEN_Xx | +4.40 | 52 | 53 |
| #3 | zacke | +3.75 | 49 | 59 |
| #4 | Leo Marcus | +1.55 | 40 | 15 |
| #5 | CaffeineAddictedAlpaca | +0.89 | 43 | 59 |





