








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 287 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




133 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5702 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7512 | 39% |
| Smokes | 5880 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3163 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2834 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $803,302 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 727 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | DaKitten | 50% | 52 |
| #8 | Sultan420 | 46% | 115 |
| #9 | Harley Davidson | 45% | 121 |
| #10 | Leo Marcus | 42% | 48 |
| #11 | crippled sex offender | 38% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crippled sex offender | 131 | 0.0379 |
| #2 | Hawk Tuah Kungen | 51 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Harley Davidson | 33 | 0.0146 |
| #4 | zacke | 31 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | p1mple | 12 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crippled sex offender | 932 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #2 | zacke | 921 | 0.41 | 21 min |
| #3 | Hawk Tuah Kungen | 699 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | Sultan420 | 432 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #5 | CaffeineAddictedAlpaca | 211 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robinesta | +4.73 | 59 | 57 |
| #2 | zacke | +4.13 | 48 | 66 |
| #3 | Leo Marcus | +0.97 | 49 | 19 |
| #4 | Hawk Tuah Kungen | -0.99 | 24 | 36 |
| #5 | p1mple | -1.08 | 26 | 18 |





