








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




201 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,416 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3824 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1864 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2633 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2095 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,419 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2867 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaKitten | 45% | 33 |
| #2 | xX_MRCHICKEN_Xx | 40% | 35 |
| #3 | zacke | 40% | 86 |
| #4 | Robinesta | 38% | 195 |
| #5 | Harley Davidson | 35% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robinesta | 61 | 0.0175 |
| #2 | Harley Davidson | 43 | 0.0223 |
| #3 | zacke | 26 | 0.0177 |
| #4 | limpan | 22 | 0.0273 |
| #5 | xX_MRCHICKEN_Xx | 16 | 0.0246 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robinesta | 779 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | zacke | 553 | 0.38 | 13 min |
| #3 | Sultan420 | 245 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | xX_MRCHICKEN_Xx | 138 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Leo Marcus | 89 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xX_MRCHICKEN_Xx | +5.59 | 50 | 60 |
| #2 | Robinesta | +4.42 | 50 | 55 |
| #3 | zacke | +3.50 | 40 | 58 |
| #4 | Leo Marcus | +0.75 | 45 | 18 |
| #5 | CaffeineAddictedAlpaca | +0.06 | 39 | 49 |





