








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 907 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2153 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 237 | 12% |
| Smokes | 318 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 840 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 648 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,100 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DoomSkull | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | Solenoid | 57% | 87 |
| #5 | foxyy2k | 54% | 96 |
| #6 | maxime | 50% | 48 |
| #7 | Handicap(covans) | 48% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sombito | 7 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | foxyy2k | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Solenoid | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Handicap(covans) | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | maxime | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foxyy2k | 246 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | sombito | 220 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Handicap(covans) | 167 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | maxime | 142 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Solenoid | 97 | 0.05 | 3 min |





