








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3622 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2805 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1323 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1839 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,097,364 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 570 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Archy | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | TheLastDon | 57% | 56 |
| #3 | Huck | 56% | 70 |
| #4 | StarBoi | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | Demonsar | 54% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | The Crusading Emu | 50% | 22 |
| #8 | Leonardo Dab Vinci | 50% | 46 |
| #9 | PAS | 43% | 28 |
| #10 | ADarkFigure | 39% | 41 |
| #11 | Wit | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demonsar | 14 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Supine | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Huck | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | TheLastDon | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Leonardo Dab Vinci | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supine | 295 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Demonsar | 251 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Archy | 151 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | TheLastDon | 150 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | PAS | 143 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Archy | +2.61 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | Hoid | +1.24 | 58 | 59 |
| #3 | Supine | +1.07 | 68 | 71 |
| #4 | PAS | +0.97 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | Huck | +0.70 | 71 | 57 |





