










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
971 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 905 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1616 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1001 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 763 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $898,591 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Svampen | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | Fiskar Ove | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | Blom | 48% | 84 |
| #6 | Hertigen Astra | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | Musha | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blom | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Svampen | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Mr. Hands | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Hertigen Astra | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Fiskar Ove | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blom | 372 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Svampen | 115 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Musha | 81 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Fiskar Ove | 71 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hertigen Astra | 65 | 0.17 | 2 min |





