








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1135 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1636 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1689 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1641 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $913,682 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlix | 49% | 37 |
| #2 | french girl power | 47% | 53 |
| #3 | G2 Alloyy | 46% | 187 |
| #4 | Faisch | 45% | 131 |
| #5 | Swoana | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faisch | 40 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | G2 Alloyy | 28 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | ♿⛟ | 18 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | Squimsh | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | french girl power | 8 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faisch | 481 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | G2 Alloyy | 308 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | ♿⛟ | 255 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Warlix | 146 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Squimsh | 115 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlix | +7.40 | 92 | 74 |
| #2 | monke | +3.62 | 84 | 59 |
| #3 | Faisch | +2.57 | 70 | 55 |
| #4 | G2 Alloyy | +2.48 | 55 | 34 |
| #5 | ♿⛟ | +0.82 | 71 | 55 |





