








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2521 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1777 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2006 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1754 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $394,540 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stewe | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | venyniilo | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | pantsiCSGO | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Plasen:( | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | 0mppu6 | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Sauna Ja Palju | 41% | 37 |
| #11 | Nuorikomea | 40% | 20 |
| #12 | ❤Costi❤ | 39% | 41 |
| #13 | antiinsane | 37% | 62 |
| #14 | xARGON | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antiinsane | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | tilpis | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ❤Costi❤ | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | pantsiCSGO | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Sauna Ja Palju | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tilpis | 467 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | ❤Costi❤ | 188 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | venyniilo | 134 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Plasen:( | 132 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | pantsiCSGO | 125 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | venyniilo | +6.66 | 78 | 70 |
| #2 | pantsiCSGO | +2.94 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | Plasen:( | +2.68 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | SamuBroidi | +0.70 | 69 | 63 |
| #5 | Stewe | +0.46 | 72 | 43 |





