








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 389 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,861 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4535 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6007 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4157 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4162 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,973,378 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | redd. | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | Nixs | 54% | 103 |
| #3 | poet | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | dusty | 54% | 70 |
| #5 | Voice | 54% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Noda | 51% | 51 |
| #10 | CeeJ | 51% | 71 |
| #11 | ZSPIRp1 | 50% | 46 |
| #12 | FPS_Panda | 48% | 29 |
| #13 | Sargent Gutta | 48% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | redd. | 6 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Swarm | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Voice | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Nixs | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Sargent Gutta | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swarm | 1444 | 0.31 | 37 min |
| #2 | Voice | 704 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | KingPyroe | 392 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Nixs | 322 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Sargent Gutta | 294 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | redd. | +3.52 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | Noda | +2.43 | 84 | 55 |
| #3 | poet | +2.30 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | Nixs | +1.09 | 54 | 52 |
| #5 | dusty | +0.69 | 78 | 56 |





