








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 848 | 38% |
| Smokes | 615 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 465 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 332 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,471 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Shinku | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | Stosses | 29% | 7 |
| #8 | Bumba199 | 29% | 7 |
| #9 | wollysound | 22% | 9 |
| #10 | Friedrich Merz | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friedrich Merz | 2 | 0.0220 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TryLoNNN | +7.01 | 94 | 75 |
| #2 | asbach ◡̈ | +3.67 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | Shelly | +1.62 | 79 | 28 |
| #4 | wollysound | +0.67 | 49 | 50 |
| #5 | Fixi.MaK | +0.48 | 88 | 61 |





