










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2253 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2123 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2803 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2001 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,031,224 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | PikiTv | 55% | 65 |
| #14 | Sqsi | 54% | 13 |
| #15 | Butterfisch | 53% | 43 |
| #16 | Stosses | 52% | 63 |
| #17 | Shinku | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wollysound | 12 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | wollysound🔲 | 8 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Jesus | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | todubblen | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Claudia Obert | 5 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus | 131 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | wollysound | 94 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Stosses | 91 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Butterfisch | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | wollysound🔲 | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |





