








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
942 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 845 | 36% |
| Smokes | 507 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 544 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 445 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,664 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TryLoNNN | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | asbach ◡̈ | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | HaseAufSpeed | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | cookie Ⓐ | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | Najnn | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | Shelly | 50% | 20 |
| #8 | Finn ist scheiße | 46% | 37 |
| #9 | Klappstuhl.MaK | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finn ist scheiße | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | HaseAufSpeed | 1 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 1 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finn ist scheiße | 101 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Klappstuhl.MaK | 55 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | cookie Ⓐ | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Shelly | 18 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Najnn | 17 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TryLoNNN | +7.14 | 94 | 76 |
| #2 | Najnn | +3.28 | 88 | 55 |
| #3 | Finn ist scheiße | +3.25 | 82 | 59 |
| #4 | cookie Ⓐ | +1.44 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | asbach ◡̈ | +0.88 | 87 | 68 |





