








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4637 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4245 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5302 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5749 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,484,276 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uhkelsie | 64% | 80 |
| #2 | Scouter | 58% | 178 |
| #3 | seemitch | 58% | 57 |
| #4 | ddocss | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | Tech | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uhkelsie | 64% | 80 |
| #2 | Scouter | 58% | 178 |
| #3 | seemitch | 58% | 57 |
| #4 | ddocss | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | Tech | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scouter | 51 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | uhkelsie | 19 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | seemitch | 9 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | ddocss | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Tech | 3 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scouter | 333 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | Tech | 238 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #3 | ddocss | 213 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | seemitch | 96 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | uhkelsie | 44 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scouter | +4.93 | 94 | 62 |
| #2 | Tech | +2.59 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | seemitch | +1.41 | 86 | 48 |
| #4 | uhkelsie | +1.20 | 80 | 16 |
| #5 | ✪ Yøink -iwnl- | +0.85 | 79 | 48 |





