








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 823 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 251 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,568 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12489 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9730 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 10502 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8847 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,328,258 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 648 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imagine Wagons | 35 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Olly | 15 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | DjasKier™ | 9 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Amyzing | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | SnooZi | 7 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imagine Wagons | 2049 | 0.13 | 54 min |
| #2 | ๖ۣۜMiD-kNiGht۰۪ | 1002 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #3 | Amyzing | 600 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #4 | DjasKier™ | 597 | 0.05 | 17 min |
| #5 | Olly | 488 | 0.08 | 14 min |





