








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2063 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1125 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




113 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9782 | 24% |
| Smokes | 10918 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8558 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 11319 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,751,253 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2489 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gully | 56% | 181 |
| #2 | Trash Talker Panda | 53% | 208 |
| #3 | Imagine Wagons | 52% | 104 |
| #4 | JAYSMERK (new keybinds + knife) | 51% | 112 |
| #5 | ♚i5-𝘙𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | 50% | 531 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ♚i5-𝘙𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | 50% | 531 |
| #6 | ✪ Sheo ✪ シェオ | 47% | 200 |
| #7 | Guardian™ | 47% | 305 |
| #8 | SnooZi | 44% | 154 |
| #9 | Harmonica man | 43% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚i5-𝘙𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | 80 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | ✪ Sheo ✪ シェオ | 46 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | Gully | 28 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Harmonica man | 28 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | Trash Talker Panda | 20 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚i5-𝘙𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | 1049 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #2 | Gully | 641 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | ✪ Sheo ✪ シェオ | 617 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | Harmonica man | 530 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #5 | Trash Talker Panda | 491 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imagine Wagons | +4.91 | 70 | 65 |
| #2 | ♚i5-𝘙𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | +4.81 | 92 | 61 |
| #3 | Gully | +4.18 | 77 | 59 |
| #4 | Guardian™ | +2.24 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | ✪ Sheo ✪ シェオ | +1.84 | 80 | 60 |





