








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 504 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11157 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7370 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7995 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6005 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,404,954 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1805 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DjasKier™ | 67% | 425 |
| #2 | Olly | 63% | 208 |
| #3 | Guardian™ | 62% | 795 |
| #4 | 8bitButterfly | 62% | 82 |
| #5 | SnooZi | 61% | 441 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Amyzing | 52% | 104 |
| #11 | SuperSqurrl | 52% | 62 |
| #12 | JudeSN | 50% | 188 |
| #13 | OckertM | 49% | 61 |
| #14 | CaitTheSingher | 46% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guardian™ | 14 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | JudeSN | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Olly | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | DjasKier™ | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ๖ۣۜMiD-kNiGht۰۪ | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guardian™ | 1423 | 0.09 | 35 min |
| #2 | JudeSN | 965 | 0.28 | 20 min |
| #3 | ๖ۣۜMiD-kNiGht۰۪ | 470 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #4 | DjasKier™ | 415 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #5 | Olly | 318 | 0.08 | 8 min |





