








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 826 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6153 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3289 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4653 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4470 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,823,656 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1596 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SnooZi | 62% | 460 |
| #7 | Olly | 59% | 132 |
| #8 | ***SallyKint*** | 57% | 76 |
| #9 | JudeSN | 50% | 42 |
| #10 | Amyzing | 44% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imagine Wagons | 17 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Guardian™ | 12 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Olly | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ๖ۣۜMiD-kNiGht۰۪ | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | SnooZi | 4 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imagine Wagons | 1134 | 0.13 | 30 min |
| #2 | Guardian™ | 1030 | 0.08 | 24 min |
| #3 | ๖ۣۜMiD-kNiGht۰۪ | 612 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #4 | Olly | 234 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | JudeSN | 201 | 0.22 | 4 min |





