








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1204 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1280 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1141 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1231 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $326,750 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Rakker | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | SnuteS | 48% | 21 |
| #10 | Steinert | 45% | 22 |
| #11 | Damn Daniel. | 43% | 14 |
| #12 | KYSKAN | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Myrtski | 14 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | Damn Daniel. | 9 | 0.0369 |
| #3 | SandStraand | 3 | 0.0121 |
| #4 | Rakker | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | KYSKAN | 2 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil naenae god | 164 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Myrtski | 152 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Steinert | 100 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | SnuteS | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nils | 45 | 0.14 | 1 min |





