








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2333 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2533 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3560 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2590 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,431,025 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s4mue1 | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | olebbb | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | Basil Brush | 57% | 99 |
| #4 | pulverheksa | 55% | 73 |
| #5 | lil naenae god | 54% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ✪ Dopapir fyr | 50% | 24 |
| #7 | [KBLR]Framy | 50% | 44 |
| #8 | Maranello♥ | 48% | 21 |
| #9 | MekDownie | 43% | 28 |
| #10 | Steinert | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [KBLR]Framy | 10 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | lil naenae god | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | pulverheksa | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Steinert | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ✪ Dopapir fyr | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pulverheksa | 244 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Steinert | 156 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | lil naenae god | 140 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Basil Brush | 99 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | [KBLR]Framy | 98 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pulverheksa | +1.83 | 94 | 59 |
| #2 | SnuteS | +1.33 | 82 | 60 |
| #3 | Steinert | +1.11 | 85 | 61 |
| #4 | lil naenae god | +0.62 | 88 | 46 |
| #5 | olebbb | -0.11 | 85 | 68 |





