








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3619 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3199 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2350 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2418 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $509,478 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toji ⚡ | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | HUMAN AIM BOT | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Panda!? | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | HunterCruzer | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Poontang McGee | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fred | 4 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | HUMAN AIM BOT | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | HunterCruzer | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Kohnert | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ZuLaN | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda!? | 103 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | HunterCruzer | 98 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | ZuLaN | 79 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fred | 65 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kohnert | 60 | 0.12 | 2 min |





