








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 815 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1465 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 675 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 777 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,578 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tambo 外国王者 | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | Cousin Greg | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | An0N_^ | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | msz | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | iLLquid | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mr Shotgun | 52% | 31 |
| #8 | AnimalAllen | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | FluffyxBlanket | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | TripAdvisor | 40% | 10 |
| #11 | kleroux007 | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Shotgun | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | TripAdvisor | 3 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | Tambo 外国王者 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | FluffyxBlanket | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | kleroux007 | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kleroux007 | 111 | 0.41 | 2 min |
| #2 | FluffyxBlanket | 53 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | An0N_^ | 53 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | iLLquid | 39 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mr Shotgun | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | An0N_^ | +3.70 | 71 | 69 |
| #2 | Tambo 外国王者 | +3.15 | 63 | 43 |
| #3 | kleroux007 | +3.02 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | Cousin Greg | +2.57 | 74 | 84 |
| #5 | Mr Shotgun | +2.01 | 61 | 59 |





