








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2251 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 836 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2978 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2540 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1715 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,054,849 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | An0N_^ | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | Cousin Greg | 62% | 98 |
| #3 | Wimmas四川 | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | Goldfist_CN | 60% | 57 |
| #5 | Lightning Blitz | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Pietie-Plofstof | 52% | 31 |
| #9 | msz | 52% | 33 |
| #10 | AWPerator - NellyS | 51% | 35 |
| #11 | lbertZ | 51% | 76 |
| #12 | iLLquid | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FluffyxBlanket | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | lbertZ | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Cousin Greg | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | iLLquid | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | An0N_^ | 3 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cousin Greg | 391 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | FluffyxBlanket | 326 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | lbertZ | 264 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | iLLquid | 226 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | An0N_^ | 119 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lbertZ | +3.37 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | An0N_^ | +2.13 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | Cousin Greg | +1.60 | 65 | 77 |
| #4 | Wimmas四川 | +1.04 | 54 | 74 |
| #5 | FluffyxBlanket | +0.45 | 58 | 66 |





