








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 296 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6122 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4446 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4184 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3625 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,955 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 804 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | An0N_^ | 58% | 74 |
| #2 | Pa7na | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | lbertZ | 52% | 124 |
| #4 | Mr Shotgun | 52% | 79 |
| #5 | Cousin Greg | 51% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Tambo 外国王者 | 51% | 221 |
| #7 | iLLquid | 50% | 145 |
| #8 | Goldfist_CN | 50% | 84 |
| #9 | Lightning Blitz | 44% | 34 |
| #10 | Wimmas四川 | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iLLquid | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Tambo 外国王者 | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Cousin Greg | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | An0N_^ | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | lbertZ | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iLLquid | 751 | 0.25 | 22 min |
| #2 | lbertZ | 538 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | Cousin Greg | 485 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #4 | An0N_^ | 411 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #5 | Tambo 外国王者 | 250 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lbertZ | +2.41 | 82 | 58 |
| #2 | FluffyxBlanket | +0.62 | 59 | 66 |
| #3 | Cousin Greg | +0.58 | 68 | 77 |
| #4 | Wimmas四川 | +0.49 | 54 | 70 |
| #5 | An0N_^ | +0.44 | 74 | 63 |





