








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,529 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4746 | 45% |
| Smokes | 3283 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2184 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 316 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $607,375 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 311 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jewishsavior | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | taiskitty | 53% | 98 |
| #3 | Fergus | 52% | 48 |
| #4 | Iron Chef Morimoto | 51% | 65 |
| #5 | XANNY | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | balabeep | 51 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | xenoactivis | 44 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | taiskitty | 14 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | XANNY | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Iron Chef Morimoto | 7 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | balabeep | 502 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | taiskitty | 209 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Fergus | 141 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | xenoactivis | 125 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Iron Chef Morimoto | 113 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | balabeep | +3.27 | 66 | 50 |
| #2 | Iron Chef Morimoto | +0.90 | 50 | 45 |
| #3 | Fergus | +0.45 | 57 | 50 |
| #4 | xenoactivis | -0.17 | 64 | 41 |
| #5 | taiskitty | -0.40 | 44 | 34 |





