








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 836 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2647 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2716 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2007 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2238 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 406 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,003,053 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 807 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taiskitty | 71% | 35 |
| #2 | sad femcel | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | ㋡ Flopalott | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | De_Duck II | 66% | 32 |
| #5 | Tropic | 63% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | balabeep | 61% | 95 |
| #8 | OG MonkeyMan | 52% | 48 |
| #9 | BIGoz | 50% | 30 |
| #10 | Parcs | 50% | 52 |
| #11 | xenoactivis | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parcs | 199 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | OG MonkeyMan | 160 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | balabeep | 159 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | BIGoz | 149 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | De_Duck II | 111 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sad femcel | +15.73 | 99 | 19 |
| #2 | Tropic | +5.38 | 90 | 58 |
| #3 | BIGoz | +5.19 | 83 | 45 |
| #4 | balabeep | +3.05 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | De_Duck II | +1.79 | 74 | 60 |





