








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1603 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3106 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1328 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2211 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $802,935 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anry | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | King Julien | 54% | 56 |
| #3 | Tobie | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | Ivan Toney | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | ApeX | 48% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tobie | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | Ivan Toney | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | ApeX | 48% | 120 |
| #6 | Jeff ツ | 47% | 97 |
| #7 | IceWeasel_69™ | 45% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff ツ | 22 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | ApeX | 18 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Anry | 5 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Tobie | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | IceWeasel_69™ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IceWeasel_69™ | 272 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | ApeX | 199 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | King Julien | 153 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tobie | 111 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ivan Toney | 91 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ApeX | +3.64 | 76 | 44 |
| #2 | Anry | +2.74 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | +1.00 | 53 | 43 |
| #4 | IceWeasel_69™ | -0.77 | 46 | 57 |
| #5 | Ivan Toney | -1.01 | 39 | 57 |





