








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2235 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3983 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1396 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2484 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,393,375 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 501 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feynman | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | Tobie | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Gc+XhnpaaGp$Ftgxan | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | 45% | 160 |
| #5 | Braaibrootjie | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | 45% | 160 |
| #5 | Braaibrootjie | 44% | 41 |
| #6 | King Julien | 43% | 81 |
| #7 | Jeff ツ | 40% | 72 |
| #8 | ApeX | 38% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff ツ | 18 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | 16 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | ApeX | 7 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Gc+XhnpaaGp$Ftgxan | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Braaibrootjie | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | 269 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | King Julien | 221 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Gc+XhnpaaGp$Ftgxan | 213 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Feynman | 145 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #5 | ApeX | 95 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ApeX | +3.63 | 74 | 40 |
| #2 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | +1.49 | 53 | 42 |
| #3 | IceWeasel_69™ | +0.27 | 48 | 56 |
| #4 | Gc+XhnpaaGp$Ftgxan | -1.40 | 59 | 35 |
| #5 | Tobie | -1.95 | 59 | 41 |





