








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2150 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1154 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1564 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 658 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1440 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,749 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobie | 51% | 69 |
| #2 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | 48% | 120 |
| #3 | Ivan Toney | 45% | 88 |
| #4 | Jeff ツ | 43% | 65 |
| #5 | IceWeasel_69™ | 38% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | 48% | 120 |
| #3 | Ivan Toney | 45% | 88 |
| #4 | Jeff ツ | 43% | 65 |
| #5 | IceWeasel_69™ | 38% | 50 |
| #6 | King Julien | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff ツ | 14 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Tobie | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Ivan Toney | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | IceWeasel_69™ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | 190 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Ivan Toney | 145 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tobie | 131 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | IceWeasel_69™ | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jeff ツ | 42 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ApeX | +2.87 | 74 | 48 |
| #2 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | +0.21 | 54 | 40 |
| #3 | Tobie | -1.12 | 61 | 46 |
| #4 | IceWeasel_69™ | -1.73 | 43 | 53 |
| #5 | Ivan Toney | -1.91 | 38 | 60 |





