








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 781 | 36% |
| Smokes | 488 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 512 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 386 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,475 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anry | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Ivan Toney | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | 54% | 56 |
| #4 | IceWeasel_69™ | 43% | 81 |
| #5 | ApeX | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | 54% | 56 |
| #4 | IceWeasel_69™ | 43% | 81 |
| #5 | ApeX | 31% | 16 |
| #6 | Braaibrootjie | 29% | 14 |
| #7 | Jeff ツ | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Jeff ツ | 7 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | IceWeasel_69™ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ApeX | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Anry | 2 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IceWeasel_69™ | 140 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Anry | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | ApeX | 31 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jeff ツ | 23 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anry | +5.36 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | ApeX | +3.07 | 61 | 42 |
| #3 | ♡AppleKosie♡ | +2.84 | 58 | 41 |
| #4 | IceWeasel_69™ | +0.72 | 44 | 53 |
| #5 | Ivan Toney | -0.04 | 38 | 64 |





