








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3104 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1891 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3288 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2084 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,788,493 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Traid | 49% | 77 |
| #2 | ImVegan | 48% | 124 |
| #3 | GearlessJoe | 47% | 180 |
| #4 | Nate | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | StarKiller | 45% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | StarKiller | 45% | 58 |
| #6 | Crow | 44% | 95 |
| #7 | Berry | 42% | 105 |
| #8 | TheBriscoe | 41% | 66 |
| #9 | Octal | 37% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImVegan | 26 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Traid | 13 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Crow | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Nate | 9 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Octal | 7 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GearlessJoe | 891 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #2 | ImVegan | 428 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | Berry | 370 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | Nate | 305 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #5 | Crow | 296 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crow | +2.26 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | Octal | +1.55 | 67 | 45 |
| #3 | ImVegan | +1.52 | 57 | 57 |
| #4 | Nate | +1.26 | 68 | 58 |
| #5 | StarKiller | +0.71 | 58 | 39 |





