








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 509 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 602 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8851 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9313 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4975 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6484 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,139,116 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Traid | 55% | 112 |
| #2 | ImVegan | 51% | 165 |
| #3 | GearlessJoe | 49% | 93 |
| #4 | StarKiller | 49% | 201 |
| #5 | Berry | 46% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | GearlessJoe | 49% | 93 |
| #4 | StarKiller | 49% | 201 |
| #5 | Berry | 46% | 250 |
| #6 | DrDoof | 44% | 95 |
| #7 | Octal | 42% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImVegan | 25 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Traid | 18 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Octal | 15 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Berry | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | StarKiller | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berry | 848 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | ImVegan | 650 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | GearlessJoe | 500 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #4 | StarKiller | 362 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | Traid | 238 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crow | +1.46 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | ImVegan | +0.60 | 51 | 56 |
| #3 | Octal | +0.56 | 69 | 48 |
| #4 | StarKiller | +0.39 | 60 | 40 |
| #5 | Berry | -1.26 | 43 | 67 |





