








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 975 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




111 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6539 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4581 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2900 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4329 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,286,264 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 923 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBriscoe | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | Crow | 51% | 165 |
| #3 | Traid | 50% | 305 |
| #4 | StarKiller | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | DrDoof | 48% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Berry | 47% | 236 |
| #7 | Octal | 46% | 326 |
| #8 | Pastalover | 45% | 172 |
| #9 | GearlessJoe | 44% | 163 |
| #10 | Zenny | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Traid | 56 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Octal | 44 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Pastalover | 24 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Crow | 23 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Berry | 12 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GearlessJoe | 909 | 0.29 | 20 min |
| #2 | Berry | 848 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #3 | Pastalover | 665 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #4 | Traid | 613 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | Crow | 526 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crow | +1.81 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Pastalover | +0.96 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | Octal | +0.83 | 66 | 47 |
| #4 | ImVegan | +0.76 | 55 | 55 |
| #5 | StarKiller | +0.51 | 59 | 39 |





