








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 906 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 416 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3816 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1667 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 5011 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3454 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,277,708 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 656 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berry | 49% | 209 |
| #2 | Pastalover | 48% | 391 |
| #3 | StarKiller | 47% | 60 |
| #4 | ImVegan | 46% | 326 |
| #5 | Zenny | 46% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Zenny | 46% | 123 |
| #6 | Traid | 43% | 111 |
| #7 | Crow | 42% | 118 |
| #8 | GearlessJoe | 39% | 56 |
| #9 | DrDoof | 37% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImVegan | 61 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Pastalover | 34 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Traid | 24 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Crow | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Berry | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pastalover | 1315 | 0.16 | 33 min |
| #2 | ImVegan | 1206 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #3 | Berry | 671 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #4 | Crow | 402 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #5 | GearlessJoe | 289 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crow | +1.98 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | Octal | +0.77 | 67 | 47 |
| #3 | Pastalover | +0.46 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | Zenny | +0.42 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | ImVegan | +0.28 | 54 | 55 |





