








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 833 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 582 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6771 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1541 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 6807 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7355 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $721,740 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StarKiller | 58% | 48 |
| #2 | Crow | 55% | 112 |
| #3 | ImVegan | 50% | 305 |
| #4 | DrDoof | 49% | 77 |
| #5 | Berry | 45% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DrDoof | 49% | 77 |
| #5 | Berry | 45% | 134 |
| #6 | Octal | 43% | 111 |
| #7 | GearlessJoe | 41% | 107 |
| #8 | Pastalover | 36% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImVegan | 66 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Crow | 20 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Octal | 20 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Pastalover | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Berry | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImVegan | 1170 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #2 | GearlessJoe | 668 | 0.31 | 15 min |
| #3 | Berry | 510 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | Crow | 430 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | Pastalover | 195 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crow | +2.21 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | StarKiller | +2.15 | 66 | 41 |
| #3 | Pastalover | +1.58 | 70 | 54 |
| #4 | ImVegan | +1.33 | 55 | 54 |
| #5 | Octal | +0.74 | 68 | 45 |





