








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 556 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 91 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,440 | |
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,693 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1496 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1055 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 3674 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4468 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,028,604 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𐂃𐂃 | 54% | 114 |
| #2 | Sjöö❤ | 48% | 649 |
| #3 | LordEndre^.^ | 47% | 73 |
| #4 | daetrip | 46% | 79 |
| #5 | Theyhey☯ | 44% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𐂃𐂃 | 54% | 114 |
| #2 | Sjöö❤ | 48% | 649 |
| #3 | LordEndre^.^ | 47% | 73 |
| #4 | daetrip | 46% | 79 |
| #5 | Theyhey☯ | 44% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjöö❤ | 82 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | 𐂃𐂃 | 30 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | daetrip | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Theyhey☯ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | LordEndre^.^ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjöö❤ | 2431 | 0.19 | 61 min |
| #2 | LordEndre^.^ | 452 | 0.31 | 10 min |
| #3 | 𐂃𐂃 | 260 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | daetrip | 177 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Theyhey☯ | 125 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daetrip | +4.22 | 71 | 58 |
| #2 | 𐂃𐂃 | +3.21 | 90 | 53 |
| #3 | Sjöö❤ | +2.11 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | LordEndre^.^ | +0.36 | 58 | 63 |
| #5 | E-grill | -2.56 | 41 | 36 |





