








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,568 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2494 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2285 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2579 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1210 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,086,584 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 297 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𐂃𐂃 | 18 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Sjöö❤ | 15 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | ☂️ ✘aiizyツ | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Theyhey☯ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | E-grill | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjöö❤ | 537 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | LordEndre^.^ | 505 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #3 | 𐂃𐂃 | 253 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Theyhey☯ | 140 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | ☂️ ✘aiizyツ | 64 | 0.09 | 2 min |





