








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1195 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1405 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1388 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1520 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $396,992 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nimbex18 | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | RAPUWU | 52% | 81 |
| #3 | bimbam | 50% | 56 |
| #4 | shitbacon | 48% | 95 |
| #5 | Kirjis -_- | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kirjis -_- | 46% | 63 |
| #6 | Nuori Hosuja | 45% | 75 |
| #7 | sampge | 44% | 36 |
| #8 | ♕Rookie♕ | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | teleman | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sampge | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Nuori Hosuja | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Kirjis -_- | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuori Hosuja | 270 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | shitbacon | 175 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kirjis -_- | 147 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | sampge | 142 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | bimbam | 133 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hylsy | +3.40 | 74 | 72 |
| #2 | Nimbex18 | +0.39 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | sampge | -0.26 | 74 | 73 |
| #4 | bimbam | -0.34 | 75 | 48 |
| #5 | Kirjis -_- | -0.35 | 72 | 44 |





