








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 600 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 187 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2072 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2484 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2646 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2483 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,541,814 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nimbex18 | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Kirjis -_- | 54% | 65 |
| #3 | RAPUWU | 54% | 80 |
| #4 | bimbam | 52% | 63 |
| #5 | sampge | 51% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuori Hosuja | 385 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | Hylsy | 357 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | sampge | 204 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | bimbam | 174 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kirjis -_- | 150 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hylsy | +3.34 | 73 | 72 |
| #2 | Nimbex18 | +0.97 | 74 | 54 |
| #3 | Kirjis -_- | +0.46 | 70 | 44 |
| #4 | bimbam | +0.42 | 77 | 50 |
| #5 | RAPUWU | +0.09 | 72 | 51 |





