








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2172 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1466 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1403 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1734 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $668,398 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuupo | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | Kirjis -_- | 53% | 49 |
| #3 | Nimbex18 | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | RAPUWU | 51% | 97 |
| #5 | rotta | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sampge | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | shitbacon | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | RAPUWU | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Nimbex18 | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | rotta | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hylsy | 267 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | sampge | 246 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | shitbacon | 160 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | bimbam | 143 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | RAPUWU | 127 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hylsy | +3.98 | 74 | 72 |
| #2 | kuupo | +2.56 | 80 | 33 |
| #3 | Nimbex18 | +1.59 | 65 | 51 |
| #4 | RAPUWU | +1.39 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | rotta | +1.25 | 77 | 54 |





