








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 773 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,433 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1422 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2147 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2559 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3305 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $675,990 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1781 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nimbex18 | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | bimbam | 58% | 53 |
| #3 | sampge | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | shitbacon | 54% | 80 |
| #5 | Kirjis -_- | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kirjis -_- | 53% | 45 |
| #6 | Hylsy | 52% | 81 |
| #7 | eerica | 52% | 31 |
| #8 | Nuori Hosuja | 51% | 97 |
| #9 | Yoshi | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuori Hosuja | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | sampge | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Nimbex18 | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | bimbam | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Kirjis -_- | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuori Hosuja | 327 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Hylsy | 291 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | sampge | 168 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | shitbacon | 135 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | bimbam | 125 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hylsy | +3.43 | 75 | 73 |
| #2 | Nimbex18 | +1.46 | 66 | 52 |
| #3 | RAPUWU | +1.45 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | bimbam | +0.55 | 79 | 46 |
| #5 | Kirjis -_- | +0.38 | 72 | 41 |





