








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1762 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1294 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1133 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1058 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $546,214 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bimbam | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Pabl0 | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | RAPUWU | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | shitbacon | 51% | 53 |
| #5 | Nuori Hosuja | 48% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Työtön | 12 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | shitbacon | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Nuori Hosuja | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Hylsy | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Kirjis -_- | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuori Hosuja | 186 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Työtön | 122 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hylsy | 114 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | shitbacon | 113 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | bimbam | 88 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hylsy | +2.73 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | bimbam | +1.34 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | sampge | +0.89 | 78 | 71 |
| #4 | Pabl0 | +0.66 | 41 | 64 |
| #5 | Kirjis -_- | +0.49 | 75 | 44 |





