








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 234 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2227 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1859 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2317 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1826 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,505 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunker | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | ☜✪MoRo✪☞ | 73% | 22 |
| #3 | Sir Gilbert | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | seppli | 71% | 24 |
| #5 | Jobbo_Y | 68% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | worstplayer | 46% | 13 |
| #18 | Yuno | 45% | 22 |
| #19 | 5ch0lli | 42% | 33 |
| #20 | cabzy | 39% | 23 |
| #21 | god | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuno | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | sKeLeTr0n | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Enno | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Jobbo_Y | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | dat_örnie | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brett.io | 342 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | IronTony | 337 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | 5ch0lli | 324 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | sKeLeTr0n | 237 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jobbo_Y | 225 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunker | +3.73 | 95 | 70 |
| #2 | Sir Gilbert | +3.11 | 83 | 52 |
| #3 | SativA | +2.89 | 87 | 66 |
| #4 | TRiBAN | +2.39 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | ☜✪MoRo✪☞ | +1.85 | 79 | 74 |





