








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 257 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,820 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2886 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3273 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2937 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2724 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $794,087 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hy | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | Blacki | hellcase.com | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Sunker | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | Haaky | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | QuackaJoe | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuackaJoe | 6 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | 5ch0lli | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Sunker | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Haaky | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | 777_Kewa_777 | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5ch0lli | 379 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | IronTony | 274 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sunker | 167 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | 777_Kewa_777 | 166 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Blacki | hellcase.com | 164 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blacki | hellcase.com | +3.74 | 93 | 52 |
| #2 | Sunker | +2.18 | 94 | 64 |
| #3 | QuackaJoe | +1.84 | 93 | 66 |
| #4 | ☜✪MoRo✪☞ | +0.92 | 80 | 69 |
| #5 | hy | +0.57 | 70 | 70 |





