








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 544 | 32% |
| Smokes | 666 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 303 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 195 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,797 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lλmbda | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | crypse | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | KHORAVAR | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | Sludge | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Balista | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Balista | 44% | 50 |
| #6 | Tusty | 43% | 67 |
| #7 | DIGISHORT | 33% | 12 |
| #8 | OneEyedKing | 33% | 12 |
| #9 | Crowo | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sludge | 5 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Tusty | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Balista | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | KHORAVAR | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | OneEyedKing | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KHORAVAR | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Balista | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Crowo | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | DIGISHORT | 23 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tusty | 17 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crypse | +2.59 | 50 | 40 |
| #2 | Balista | +2.45 | 72 | 48 |
| #3 | KHORAVAR | +1.94 | 51 | 35 |
| #4 | Lλmbda | +1.83 | 57 | 48 |
| #5 | DIGISHORT | -1.05 | 28 | 64 |





