








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 446 matches | ||
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1312 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3609 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 2155 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 767 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,884,996 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tusty | 53% | 72 |
| #5 | Balista | 50% | 241 |
| #6 | frames | 50% | 54 |
| #7 | DIGISHORT | 49% | 37 |
| #8 | croffatron | 39% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balista | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | frames | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | KHORAVAR | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | DIGISHORT | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | croffatron | 2 | 0.0018 |





