








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 782 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 516 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,717 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7698 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4856 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6099 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4064 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,404,941 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 633 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rap1s | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | Pess1 | 52% | 431 |
| #3 | Rafice | 52% | 89 |
| #4 | gälis | 51% | 131 |
| #5 | patonki | 46% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Rafice | 52% | 89 |
| #4 | gälis | 51% | 131 |
| #5 | patonki | 46% | 100 |
| #6 | Jeppe | 33% | 39 |
| #7 | Matti Kenttä | 28% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pess1 | 15 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | gälis | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Jeppe | 9 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | patonki | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Rafice | 7 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pess1 | 1712 | 0.18 | 43 min |
| #2 | gälis | 614 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | patonki | 334 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | rap1s | 165 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rafice | 123 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gälis | +2.42 | 71 | 59 |
| #2 | Pess1 | +1.25 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | vali | -0.63 | 36 | 68 |
| #4 | rap1s | -1.24 | 42 | 67 |
| #5 | Rafice | -2.16 | 47 | 51 |





