








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 667 | 21% |
| Smokes | 920 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 734 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 870 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $63,927 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vali | 52% | 89 |
| #2 | Pess1 | 49% | 109 |
| #3 | gälis | 47% | 123 |
| #4 | patonki | 46% | 93 |
| #5 | Kyrpäjyrä | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Pess1 | 49% | 109 |
| #3 | gälis | 47% | 123 |
| #4 | patonki | 46% | 93 |
| #5 | Kyrpäjyrä | 42% | 24 |
| #6 | Matti Kenttä | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gälis | 12 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Pess1 | 12 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | vali | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | patonki | 7 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gälis | 640 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | Pess1 | 573 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #3 | vali | 570 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #4 | patonki | 345 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kyrpäjyrä | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gälis | +3.12 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | Pess1 | +1.93 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | vali | +0.23 | 29 | 72 |
| #4 | Kyrpäjyrä | -1.72 | 68 | 54 |
| #5 | Rafice | -1.85 | 45 | 44 |





