








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 250 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3461 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1334 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 3188 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2502 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $395,531 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 394 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pess1 | 48% | 60 |
| #2 | gälis | 48% | 413 |
| #3 | Rafice | 46% | 93 |
| #4 | vali | 46% | 100 |
| #5 | Kyrpäjyrä | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pess1 | 48% | 60 |
| #2 | gälis | 48% | 413 |
| #3 | Rafice | 46% | 93 |
| #4 | vali | 46% | 100 |
| #5 | Kyrpäjyrä | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gälis | 49 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Rafice | 22 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | vali | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Kyrpäjyrä | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Pess1 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gälis | 1393 | 0.19 | 28 min |
| #2 | vali | 532 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #3 | Pess1 | 401 | 0.30 | 12 min |
| #4 | Rafice | 145 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kyrpäjyrä | 93 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gälis | +5.18 | 75 | 55 |
| #2 | Pess1 | +1.88 | 72 | 61 |
| #3 | vali | +0.06 | 31 | 66 |
| #4 | Kyrpäjyrä | -0.19 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | Rafice | -1.61 | 44 | 48 |





