








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 821 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1499 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 985 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1248 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $621,430 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmmmm | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | J. | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Aggressivee- | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | funsweet | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | threeNil | 55% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | SKADOOSH | 40% | 30 |
| #17 | astronoi | 39% | 46 |
| #18 | odingCoding | 34% | 41 |
| #19 | CORPORAL UPHAM | 22% | 9 |
| #20 | s0n | 18% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Usan | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | threeNil | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Chomillera | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | bebek | 5 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | s0n | 5 | 0.0169 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Usan | 696 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | astronoi | 260 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #3 | threeNil | 193 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | OpeL | 171 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | Aggressivee- | 120 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmmmm | +3.12 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | J. | +3.11 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | Usan | +2.87 | 89 | 67 |
| #4 | threeNil | +2.87 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | Aggressivee- | +2.39 | 69 | 73 |





